i dont think it was the perfect time in my life to watch this, i feel as if i am not fully mature enough to grasp this film as well as many others probably did, considering my age and underdeveloped mind. however, there is no set perfect time so its okay. but it still really resonated with me. so heres my surface-level take on it. i think there are going to points in every persons life where they think they are the worst person in the world. that is inevitable. but does it truly mean they are? most likely not. our choices don't entirely define us. they're a part of life and we have to make them, yes. but i think its rather brave to be at least making those choices, not knowing where they'll take you and where you'll end up. being indecisive in your way of life does not mean that you are doing something inherently wrong. its what usually i'd say after we've made the choice and what we choose to do with it, the consequences of it play a bigger role in shaping us as people. life is meant to be lived. that living includes many choices, good, bad, neutral etc. so i wouldn't say julie was the worst person in the world. she grew, she learn, she lived. but she might have felt that way. we might have felt similarly about ourselves at certain points too. making poor or not so thought out choices in my case or opinion result from feeling a bit lost, like julie did. she felt lost, with a lot of confusion regarding her identity. who is she without her major, her job, her romantic relationships, her filial relationships? these being the most common defining aspects of peoples lives. but obviously, even without those aspects we exist as people and it can be pretty hard to detach ourselves from the experiences and expectations that fundamentally build us from the ground up and just know who we are without them, be sure of ourselves. and i could definitely see the struggle to find herself. but she kept getting lost in one choice or the other, not being able to really do that well. see herself. from her perspective and not feel like a supporting character as she said so herself. this film kind of gave me the feeling of agency to be a little bit of a failure. haha. its like, forgiving in a way? we should forgive ourselves for being a so called failure in certain aspects of life. there is no strict objectiveness to failure. so obviously it sure as hell can feel like a lot of things. and thats okay! its entirely up to us as what constitutes as our definition of making the most out of our life and if that doesn't fit the societal ideals so be it. even if it doesn't look like what we want it to look like, going from bad decision to bad decision, SO BE IT!!! its okay to not have even simple things figured out all the damn time. its okay to not have an answer to questions considered as basic as "what do you want to do in the future?". as long as you are alive, you can figure it out. actively, while making plenty of choices, having a bunch of fun, experiencing plenty of sorrow, but hopefully bound to figure it out however long it may take. and even if u don't, well thats completely fine, just life. __________________________________________
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