Soul2020

Since I started trying to write more thought-out reviews at the beginning of 2025, I have sometimes used this platform as a diary or journal of sorts to write out my feelings after seeing a movie rather than my thoughts on the film itself.  I suppose I could simply write these thoughts in my notes app and keep them to myself, but seeing how much I crave connection, interaction, and community, I choose to put them here. In a perfect world, I would stick to writing about films specifically, but there are enough times when I have more thoughts and feelings because of a film that I do about a film.  I talked in one of my train dreams reviews and maybe elsewhere about how I wanted to make music. Like Joe Gardener, that was my dream. I thought it was my purpose. But I was never brave enough to even really try.  I’ve always been a coward. I am so scared of change and discomfort. Maybe I’m an idealist, and I don’t think I should have to work to enjoy life. But really, I’m just lazy.  Is my life meaningless? “I'm just afraid that if I died today, my life would have amounted to nothing.” Maybe one day I’ll really pursue music again.  Maybe I’ll have that spark that I used to.  Maybe one day I will feel like I’ve earned my life.  My name is Lance Saunders. Here is some music I have recorded.  I did not write most of these, and a lot sound terrible, but I made them.  I think this year I will finish my album. Maybe not in the way I wanted, but at least in some form.  If I died, I want people to be able to find something that really shows who I am. Why I was here. I want people to be able to see me.