New boarder Tomkinson is thoroughly miserable at Graybridge public school where he has to fight the grizzly bear,get nailed to the wall on St Tadger's Day and do the bidding of Grayson,also known as School Bully. When his mother refuses to let him come home he makes several attempts to escape,all unsuccessful,but after winning the Thirty Mile Hop against a rival (Buddhist) public school he is promoted to School Bully when Grayson leaves for Eton.
| Actor | Role |
|---|---|
 Michael PalinTomkinson / Headmaster / TV Introducer / Mr Craffitt | Tomkinson / Headmaster / TV Introducer / Mr Craffitt |
 Terry JonesMr. Ellis / Bear / Mr. Moodie / Director | Mr. Ellis / Bear / Mr. Moodie / Director |
 Gwen WatfordMummy | Mummy |
 Ian OgilvyGrayson | Grayson |
 John WentworthChaplain | Chaplain |
| SSarah GrazebrookMaid | Maid |
 Chai LeeSuki | Suki |
 Terence DenvilleMan | Man |