 Tim HeideckerTim Heidecker | Tim Heidecker |
 Eric WareheimEric Wareheim | Eric Wareheim |
 John C. ReillyTaquito | Taquito |
 Zach GalifianakisJim Joe Kelly | Jim Joe Kelly |
 Will FerrellDamien Weebs | Damien Weebs |
 Robert LoggiaTommy Schlaaang | Tommy Schlaaang |
 Ray WiseDr. Doone Struts | Dr. Doone Struts |
 Jeff GoldblumChef Goldblum | Chef Goldblum |
 Bob OdenkirkSchlaaang Announcer (voice) | Schlaaang Announcer (voice) |
 William AthertonEarle Swinter | Earle Swinter |
| NNoah SpencerJeffery | Jeffery |
| JJon BaggioJason | Jason |
 Gabriel BartalosWolf Puppeteer | Wolf Puppeteer |
| NNancy StelleWoman on Paris Street | Woman on Paris Street |
 Ronnie RodriguezDiamond Jim / Johnny Depp | Diamond Jim / Johnny Depp |
 Marilyn PoraykoWomen Being Ticketed | Women Being Ticketed |
 Andy SpencerStudio Executive 2 | Studio Executive 2 |
 Michael GrossNarrator | Narrator |
 Will ForteAllan Bishopman | Allan Bishopman |
 James QuallSelf | Self |
 David Liebe HartSelf | Self |
 Dita de LeonCocaine Girl (uncredited) | Cocaine Girl (uncredited) |
 Bill A. JonesSerious Announcer | Serious Announcer |
 Frank SlatenSuper Seat Customer | Super Seat Customer |
| BBob RossSelf | Self |
 Jean-Michel RichaudParis Policeman | Paris Policeman |
 Kristopher LoganStudio Executive 1 | Studio Executive 1 |
| CChristopher GuckenbergerStudio Executive 3 | Studio Executive 3 |
| JJohn Downey IIICornell | Cornell |
| MMary BlyMrs. Heidecker | Mrs. Heidecker |
