The Ozporns, America's favorite dysfunctional family. Each week they air their dirty laundry on the reality show that takes you into their home, their lives, and even their beds. There's Izzy, the constipated, scatter-brained dad whose good intentions are sometimes toiled by his overactive libido: Sherri his loving wife who wears the pants in the family - and never takes them off: Fiona and John, who come home from college to create sexual chaos: Sarah, the nymphomaniacal nanny: and the sundry other characters who drop in unannounced and leave sexually gratified. In this episode, Izzy is on a mission to find out who stole his bran muffins. John is getting his feet (and other body parts) wet in the glamorous world of porn production. Fiona's in love with a struggling rapper from the bad part of Malibu, and Sarah has her eyes on…well, you'll just have to watch it, won't you. A dead-on parody of TV's most popular show, The Ozporns dares to take you where no one else can.
| Actor | Role |
|---|---|
 Tawny RobertsFiona Ozporn | Fiona Ozporn |
 ChloeNot listed | Not listed |
 Nikita DeniseNot listed | Not listed |
 Sindee CoxxSarah, The Nanny | Sarah, The Nanny |
 Tanya DanielleNot listed | Not listed |
 Calli CoxNot listed | Not listed |
 AriaNot listed | Not listed |
 Samantha SterlyngNot listed | Not listed |
 Shane HunterIzzy (as Baz) | Izzy (as Baz) |
 Cheyne CollinsJohn Ozporn | John Ozporn |
 Fred J. LincolnBob (as F.J. Lincoln) (NonSex Role) | Bob (as F.J. Lincoln) (NonSex Role) |
 Kyle StoneNot listed | Not listed |
 Marty RomanoNot listed | Not listed |
 Pat MyneJohn's buddy | John's buddy |
 Rick Patrick(as Rick) | (as Rick) |
 Steve HatcherNot listed | Not listed |
 Tina TylerIzzy's wife (NonSex Role) | Izzy's wife (NonSex Role) |