The Ninth Gate1999

Is two stars too friendly or is it overreaction? I don’t know, the star system sucks. Ignore my stars for now on. In fact, I may stop with stars - just watch and heart. Yea I think I’ll do that. If I remove the stars from this movie, just know it was a battle between 1.5 and 2, and 2 won … mostly because the green eyes paid off in the scariest of ways during the most fear-boner inducing sex scene I’ve seen in a while. It goes from hot to scary to … wait was that another lady’s face? Who are these people? Were any of them in the movie? Was that Marisa Tomei? Wait maybe it’s just the same lady without the green eyes? But anyway, so is she going to give birth to the devil or something? I have notes: Does Roman Polanski hate people in the service industry? Every bellhop or cashier in this movie is in the scene to look stupid. I’d be more forgiving if it was funny, but the humor is on par with Rocky & Bullwinkle. Next note: What’s the deal with the phone? Is this a running gag? Whenever Johnny Depp gets a call, the front desk calls him and, depending on the location, he’ll take it in his room or the lobby. He never just takes the call. It has nothing to do with the sensitivity of the call because he was taking calls of a sensitive nature in the lobby. It’s so stupid and it happens at least three times. Next note - I loved the pretentious chuckle that followed the old lady’s joke about her orgy days being over. Why does Johnny Depp think the concierge/front desk manager should also be his private investigator? How about the first make out scene between Johnny Depp and Satan’s mom? Their mouths weren’t compatible - does that even make sense? No chemistry … although I guess the lack of chemistry works out for the final sex act. And finally, why do characters in this movie like Johnny Depp’s character? Everyone acts like he has this charmful way about him, but he’s the dullest character I’ve seen on the silver screen. Two stars is too friendly. But I’m getting rid of stars, remember?