In this spoof of TV cop shows, which served as the pilot to the subsequent short-lived series, a bunch of bumbling misfits and rejects from the police academy, all assembled under a straitlaced but dimwitted captain, fumble their way to success cracking a drug ring run by a blind mobster.
| Actor | Role |
|---|---|
 Jonathan PerpichSgt. Price Pascall | Sgt. Price Pascall |
 Ernie HudsonNight Train | Night Train |
 Wings HauserLt. Hobbs | Lt. Hobbs |
 Randi BrooksMel | Mel |
 Rick DucommunRaid | Raid |
 Lucy Lee FlippinRina | Rina |
 Vijay AmritrajAlphabet | Alphabet |
 Yana NirvanaSgt. Hagerty | Sgt. Hagerty |
| PPete WillcoxKing | King |
 Hank RolikeSundance | Sundance |
 Keenan WynnButch | Butch |
 Adam WestCapt. Wright | Capt. Wright |
| CCarl StranoNot listed | Not listed |
 James CromwellChief Bludhorn | Chief Bludhorn |
 Robert MirandaNot listed | Not listed |
 Misty RoweNot listed | Not listed |
| GGeorge PentecostNot listed | Not listed |
 Jere BurnsNot listed | Not listed |
 Derek McGrathNot listed | Not listed |
 Katherine Kelly LangTracey | Tracey |
| JJack AndreozziAngie | Angie |