A boy, a girl, and the worst football team in Britain. You can't choose who you're going to fall in love with.
| Actor | Role |
|---|---|
 Martine McCutcheonGertie Roberts | Gertie Roberts |
 Alan DaviesDonald Roberts | Donald Roberts |
 Adam DeaconHerbie Lane | Herbie Lane |
 Jamie ForemanCharlie McQueen | Charlie McQueen |
 Brenock O'ConnorDavid Roberts | David Roberts |
 Tom OwenMr Blake | Mr Blake |
 Ewen MacIntoshDerek Dobson | Derek Dobson |
 Daniel HillMr Travis | Mr Travis |
 Lucy-Jane QuinlanEmelda | Emelda |
 Tomi MayJeff Barnes | Jeff Barnes |
 Mark DymondPeter Batchelor | Peter Batchelor |
 Anna DanshinaAnoushka | Anoushka |
 Gareth HaleDick Ellis | Dick Ellis |
 Danny MidwinterTony Soper | Tony Soper |
| TTJ HerbertRoy Oliver | Roy Oliver |
 Ross AndersonAlan Stonebridge | Alan Stonebridge |
| AAlex WoodhallGinger Warburton | Ginger Warburton |
 Betsy Blue-EnglishAngie | Angie |
 Jim ConwayBarry Stringer | Barry Stringer |
 Rav WildingPoliceman #1 | Policeman #1 |
 Luke J.I. SmithKnuckles | Knuckles |
 Mark Griffin'Brian' West Ham Manager | 'Brian' West Ham Manager |
| JJoan HodgesMrs. Meredith | Mrs. Meredith |
| CChristopher FoshBurly Steward | Burly Steward |
| JJason Rhodes'Robbo' West Ham Player | 'Robbo' West Ham Player |