In a monochrome city that is shamelessly London although everybody acts as if it is Rome, banker Aldo Vini is on the run from Mafia boss Corelli, from whom he has embezzled two million. Corelli hires Mig and Mog, two inept hitmen to go after Vini, killing any witnesses as they go, but when they finally catch up with him, they have no idea what to do with him and confuse Corelli's instructions with their shopping list.
| Actor | Role |
|---|---|
 Nigel PlanerAldo Vini | Aldo Vini |
 Tim McInnernyMig | Mig |
 Alexei SayleMog | Mog |
 Dawn FrenchFrancesca | Francesca |
 Jennifer SaundersMaria | Maria |
 Peter RichardsonWaiter/Shopkeeper | Waiter/Shopkeeper |
 Keith AllenMason/Gondolier | Mason/Gondolier |
 Steven O'DonnellBertoli | Bertoli |
 Nosher PowellCorelli | Corelli |
| JJimmy FaggNewsvendor | Newsvendor |
| SStephanie AnsellLadykiller | Ladykiller |