Angelo has been drafted into the Italian Army in World War II. He does not like people shooting at him, so he tries all sorts of tricks to avoid being caught up in the action. However, events always seem to lead him back to the fighting.
| Actor | Role |
|---|---|
 Godfrey TearleCount Piccologrando | Count Piccologrando |
 Maria DenisLucrezia | Lucrezia |
 Peter UstinovPvt. Angelo | Pvt. Angelo |
 Marjorie RhodesCountess | Countess |
 James Robertson JusticeFeste | Feste |
 Moyna MacGillMarchesa Dolce | Marchesa Dolce |
 Robin BaileySimon Telfer | Simon Telfer |
 Harry LockeCpl. Trivet | Cpl. Trivet |
 Bill ShineCol. Michael | Col. Michael |
 John HarveyCpl. McCunn | Cpl. McCunn |
| DDiana GravesLucia | Lucia |