Two old men in a nursing home engage in an ongoing competition. When the home is due to receive a visit from a member of the royal family, only one of them will be able to be represented.
| Actor | Role |
|---|---|
 Ian CarmichaelBartholomew 'Chalky' White | Bartholomew 'Chalky' White |
 Ronald FraserTimothy Apcar | Timothy Apcar |
 Polly HemingwayNurse Nimmo | Nurse Nimmo |