| DDavid GobbleRick Whitehead | Rick Whitehead |
| FFard MuhammadCarlos | Carlos |
| AAllison PreglerElizabeth Howard Grace | Elizabeth Howard Grace |
 Rob WalkerSanta Christ | Santa Christ |
 Doug WalkerSamuel Tobinski / Kendrick Tobinski | Samuel Tobinski / Kendrick Tobinski |
 Malcolm RayThe Devil | The Devil |
 Brad JonesWilly Whitehead | Willy Whitehead |
| BBrian LewisBurton Burpo | Burton Burpo |
| ZZachary La VoyRanger Buckman | Ranger Buckman |
 Tamara Lynn ChambersDarlene | Darlene |
| SSarah GobbleGod | God |
| AAidan BartYoung Rick | Young Rick |
| NNash BozardTerry | Terry |
| FFlynn HannersFather Jenkins | Father Jenkins |
| JJillian ZurawskiRick's Mom | Rick's Mom |
| EEd SmithPraying Man | Praying Man |
| CChristopher ProffittGabe | Gabe |
| TTrevor OllechNed and Stacey | Ned and Stacey |
| BBrian IrvingInternet Neckbeard | Internet Neckbeard |
| SSean WilburnTV Cameraman | TV Cameraman |
 Ed GlaserTV Producer | TV Producer |
| JJoe MeansHeaven's Stage Manager | Heaven's Stage Manager |
| AAllison MeansDana | Dana |
| TTia SpencerMaid of Honor | Maid of Honor |
| SScott SpencerChristopher Hitchens (voice) | Christopher Hitchens (voice) |
| RRob SheehanInternet Commentor 1 | Internet Commentor 1 |
| CCory Lyle VinderslevInternet Commenter 2 | Internet Commenter 2 |
| EEric GaspardInternet Commentor 3 | Internet Commentor 3 |
| RRyan MitchelleInternet Commentor 4 | Internet Commentor 4 |
| MMichael SchicianoInternet Commenter 5 | Internet Commenter 5 |
