Through a series of vignettes, the often inexplicable behaviors of contemporary humans are observed and commented upon by a droll narrator. No matter how outlandish or senseless the action, one thing is certain: "It's Always Something."
| Actor | Role |
|---|---|
 Stephen FryNarrator | Narrator |
 Alexandra FabbriThe Blue Woman | The Blue Woman |
| TThomas CokeniasTall Dark Man 1 | Tall Dark Man 1 |
 Stephen L. WilsonMale Police Officer | Male Police Officer |
 Alexander FaeronRookie Cop | Rookie Cop |
 Rebecca TeresiaBell Jar Woman | Bell Jar Woman |
| MMichael BoehmPark Patron 1 | Park Patron 1 |