James is useless with women, but his luck changes under the tutelage of pick-up artist, Ampersand. As James learns the art of seduction he begins to wonder about Ampersand’s intentions and questions what would truly make him happy in life.
| Actor | Role |
|---|---|
 Simon PhillipsJames | James |
 Craig ConwayAmpersand | Ampersand |
 Gemma AtkinsonHannah | Hannah |
 Stephanie LeonidasPatch | Patch |
 Billy MurrayDr. Leaner | Dr. Leaner |
 Martin KempZeus | Zeus |
 Richard E. GrantIan | Ian |
 Keeley HazellKirsty | Kirsty |
 Nicola PosenerEmma | Emma |
 Martin CompstonAdam | Adam |
 Sheridan SmithLisa | Lisa |
 Colin SalmonDr. Learner | Dr. Learner |
 Neil MaskellHands Henry | Hands Henry |
| DDavid EasterMr. Johnson | Mr. Johnson |
| DDominic BurnsNeil | Neil |
 Rita RamnaniJenny | Jenny |
 Adele SilvaZara | Zara |
 Jill HalfpennyChristina | Christina |
 Marcia Do ValesBrazilian Party Girl | Brazilian Party Girl |
| SStephanie KnightPretty Party Girl | Pretty Party Girl |
 Johanna TheaDemi-Goddess (uncredited) | Demi-Goddess (uncredited) |