Die Another Day2002

If there is a word to describe this film, it’s bizarre. Or perhaps just misguided.  So the movie starts with Bond surfing. Not recreationally but on a mission. Now a surfing spy is ridiculous enough to almost be plausible and a fun and interesting idea. But here, its only purpose is to justify a much, much more insane moment later.  We get a pretty decent opening with some North Korean shenanigans.  And then we get to the theme. This has to be not just the worst Bond theme but one of the worst songs ever written for a movie as well as the absolute worst opening credits in the entire film series. It is again bizarre.  Here’s a little factoid. The theme song for The World Is Not Enough wasn’t a big hit in the States, so they wanted to find a more “high-profile” artist for the next film. The only reason they chose Madonna for the theme is because her last song for AUSTIN FUCKING POWERS THE BOND PARODY MOVIE was a successful hit and won a Grammy. And then she spat out some techno babble garbage just because she could. And everyone said “yep, sounds good to me.” Wild.  So much crazy stuff happens in this movie that it’s hard to talk about. But let me say this: it is clear that this film is meant to pay “respect” to classic Bond films. There are so many blatant references but also homages in the plot that it is clear that the filmmakers are trying to show some love for the franchise. Maybe? This is the misguided part. Because it’s hard to tell if they are laughing at or with the franchise when all the new ideas are so ridiculous that it stretches credulity to the umpteenth degree and makes every previous entry look tame and mundane.  The Cuba section feels like an homage to early Bond and later sections feeling more Moorean. The whole plot is essentially Diamonds Are Forever 2.0 with a little Goldfinger thrown in. And if they went super classic with it, maybe it could have worked. Or maybe it would have felt like self-parody anyways.  The stuff in this movie is bizarre and infamous. People who haven’t seen it still know many of the moments just because of how insane they are.  It is honestly terrible.  It is also terribly fun.  Unless you are an asshole, I don’t think anyone could have a bad time watching this movie. It is without a doubt never boring. This is the 14-year-old boys’ bond movie. And it works incredibly as that.  So no, this is not the worst in the franchise, but I also don’t think I can give this a rating. This movie surpasses normal rating conventions. So I will just say this.  This is a MUST-WATCH film. And it is a movie you must share with others. I am so glad I’ve seen this movie.  James Bond Ranked We are at the final stretch. The Craig films. I have two days to watch five movies. I hope I can get it done. I’ll see you at Casino Royale.