Professor Kansas Bowling presents a shocking exposé about the lives of teenage girls, presented as a series of fictional vignettes and real documentary interviews.
| Actor | Role |
|---|---|
 Kansas BowlingProfessor Kansas Bowling | Professor Kansas Bowling |
 Parker Love BowlingCuddly Toy / Sueann | Cuddly Toy / Sueann |
 Amanda FlowersAmanda Flowers | Amanda Flowers |
 Caroline WilliamsMrs. Martin | Mrs. Martin |
 Schoolly DMmmissile | Mmmissile |
 Charlotte SartreNot listed | Not listed |
| CCynda McElvanaMaude | Maude |
 Dylan Mars GreenbergWolf Sword Dice Nu Metal H | Wolf Sword Dice Nu Metal H |
 Sasha BeliaevaSasha | Sasha |
| DDon De VoreOmnipresent Male | Omnipresent Male |
| SSune Rose WagnerDoctor | Doctor |
| KKeith AllisonThe Groom | The Groom |
| NNatasha HaleviLuella the Pageant Host | Luella the Pageant Host |
 Charlotte Kemp MuhlHeather | Heather |
| MMarion MoseleyHarriet | Harriet |