A failed Hollywood actor returns to his home town in Wisconsin and reminisces about his life in L.A. to a potential new girlfriend about his faults, auditions, misadventures, and confrontations with the evils of Hollywood.
| Actor | Role |
|---|---|
 Stephen BurrowsMilwaukee Steve | Milwaukee Steve |
 Traci LordsSam | Sam |
 Tim MathesonSimon Sez Simone | Simon Sez Simone |
 Jerry StillerThe Colonel | The Colonel |
 Amy StillerCherri Contrary | Cherri Contrary |
 Fred WillardSteve's Manager | Steve's Manager |
| AA.J. BenzaSteve's Agent | Steve's Agent |
 Clancy BrownThe Man | The Man |
 Abe VigodaThe Frog | The Frog |
 Kate MillerDesiree, the Whore | Desiree, the Whore |
| DDavid VinauNot listed | Not listed |
 McNally SagalMaloney | Maloney |
 Jon ChardietMr. C | Mr. C |
 Anne MearaCasting Director | Casting Director |
 John RosenfeldAgent #1 | Agent #1 |
 Mary ScheerAgent #2 | Agent #2 |
 Mike 'Boogie' MalinManager #1 | Manager #1 |
| BBetsy MonroeSugaree | Sugaree |
| JJoshua Glyn8th Grade Dropout | 8th Grade Dropout |
| SSheila TravisRia | Ria |
| OOlivia DebonoAss-Slapped Girl | Ass-Slapped Girl |
 Vené L. ArcoraciLimo Girl | Limo Girl |
 Mandy LevinBistro Waitress | Bistro Waitress |
 Miriam FlynnBussler Waitress | Bussler Waitress |