Two over-loyal Celtic fans kidnap their opponent's star player in order to guarantee their team the championship.
| Actor | Role |
|---|---|
 Damon WayansLewis Scott | Lewis Scott |
 Daniel SternMike O'Hara | Mike O'Hara |
 Dan AykroydJimmy Flaherty | Jimmy Flaherty |
 Gail O'GradyCarol O'Hara | Carol O'Hara |
 Christopher McDonaldCoach Kimball | Coach Kimball |
 Paul GuilfoyleKevin O'Grady | Kevin O'Grady |
 Adam HendershottTommy O'Hara | Tommy O'Hara |
 Scott LawrenceTed Hennison | Ted Hennison |
 Deion SandersSelf | Self |
 Bill WaltonSelf | Self |
| GGerard 'Gus' WilliamsDerrick Lake | Derrick Lake |
 Ted RooneyTony Sheppard | Tony Sheppard |
| VVladimir CukLurch | Lurch |
| KKeith GibbsTerry Kirby | Terry Kirby |
| JJoe MingleReferee | Referee |
 Peter A. HulnePat 'Patty' Fitzsimmons | Pat 'Patty' Fitzsimmons |
| PPatrick HulneTim 'Timmy' Fitzsimmons | Tim 'Timmy' Fitzsimmons |
 Will LymanRich Man | Rich Man |
| GGeorge MacDonaldReporter | Reporter |
 Bob CousySelf | Self |
 Larry BirdSelf | Self |
| JJeff RossCar Theft Victim | Car Theft Victim |